Progress

It's been a long two weeks. I'm getting dizzy trying to keep up with not only the everyday stuff, but also what the kids have to do and when they have to do it, what extra things I have to do, mom's work schedule and things she has to do. We thorougly enjoyed yesterday. And today I'm just chilling at home. Me and my best friend, Missy, have made it a point to make sure that the kids have a good time atleast once every weekend. Yesterday was that day. We had a picnic here at the house. We had a really good time. The kids went swimming and played in the woods. We drank a lot of beer (which I still need to clean up), ate some awesome ribs and steaks, and had a blast. We even had mom partying with us. But with the circumstances, we needed it. I'm still grinning and giggling.

So here's a little update. We had the forensic meeting. That's where we met with the counselors. The counselors took the kids one at a time to talk to them and find out what happened. I don't want to repeat it right now (since I'm in a good mood today and don't want to spoil it), but it's just terrible. The perp was also beating my son. I am pretty much assuming that he was also beating my girls. I got a PFA for all of us Thursday morning. He was served the PFA on his way to work Friday. 4:20 AM he got served!!lol I found out Saturday that the cops in town here have been sitting at the end of our road at night watching all the traffic coming in and out of town. And since I live on a dead end, they see every car that comes up here. So that makes me feel pretty safe. I have a fireman that lives next to me...he has a loaded gun in his house (he has no kids), and he said he's not afraid to use it if the Perp were to try and come here. All in all, I think we're pretty safe for the most part here. I talked to the SGT that is handling the case so far, and as of 3:30 today the Perp still hadn't come in for questioning. I think he might have tonight though. And if he didn't, they are going to get him tomorrow. The perp was online earlier...and he had "goodbye" next to his name. So after the PFA he knows atleast a little of what's up. To me, its an admission of guilt. But since the perp has loaded his gun and said he was gonna kill himself in front of me once, I called the state police (they run his area) and notified them. I told them that I know it sounds rude, ignorant and just down right mean, but I want him to go to jail and not take the easy way out by killing himself. I want him to go to jail and be violated the same way he violated my kids. I want him to have to think about what he did every single day for the rest of his life. And to think about how he got away with it for so long....but now he's behind bars and paying so dearly for the three innocent lives that he changed forever. My kids will never know the innocence of a first time with someone. They will never fully cherish their first time. And these are things that are a one time only kind of deal. My kids will never have that now. I feel so bad. It's just not right. It's not fair. And it can't be fixed. Sending him to jail isn't gonna bring their innocence back. It's justice, pure and simple. But it can't repair the damage that has been done. I hate him for that. And nothing will ever fix that. Tomorrow we go to Mercy Hospital for the exams. I don't know how they do these, but I was told that there would be no penetration with anything. So that's good. My kids are traumatized enough. All we have to do now is meet with the DA. Well, as far as the kids go. I have to go meet my lawyer next week for the PFA and then I have a hearing for the official PFA next Wed. This will be the first time I will look the perp in the face since I found out. I don't know how that's gonna go. I'm either gonna kill him right there in the court room, be drug out and put in a holding cell, or I'm gonna just sit there in panicked silence. I'm taking Missy...and she will keep me in line. Or she'll kill him for me!!HEHE

So that's the update for now. I'm going to go and enjoy the nice weather. And maybe call a friend...one that believes in me and is there for me when I need them!